Hello, holiday heads! It's time once again for one of my favorite traditions of the year, my annual Holiday Music That Doesn't Suck playlist. As usual, I've been working on this one since before I published last year's; that's just the way it is when you collect holiday music the way that I do.
Anyway, I spend longer on these liner notes than anyone will listening to this thing, so enough with the intro, let's get to the tunes!
 | |
|
▶ Before we begin the festivities, if you're one those sickos who uses music streaming apps, here's this year's playlist on Spotify and Apple Music. ◀NB: these versions are missing some tracks. |
- Dropkick Murphys - The Season's Upon Us
This song is balls to the wall good ol' 3/4 Celtic-drinking-song fun from the first note to the last. An ode to the joys of family, eggnog, and the chaotic mayhem of the season. - Judith Owen - Back Door Santa
Did we need a white woman's take on this Clarence Carter classic (featured in my very first holiday playlist)? No, of course we didn't. Does that make this swinging, saucy cover from this Welsh chanteuse any less awesome? No, of course it doesn't. (Fun fact: Judith Owens is married to Harry Shearer!) - Jimmy Fallon - Hey Rudy (Feat. The Roots)
Yes, I know we all hate Jimmy Fallon. But what can I say? His holiday album with The Roots actually has some great cuts on it, and the autotune covers most of his vocal sins. - Ramsey Lewis Trio - Winter Wonderland
This high-energy take on this wintertime classic is from 1966, the same year Ramsey Lewis won his second Grammy. This one's short and sweet, like a shot of peppermint schnapps. - Zee Avi - Frosty The Snowman
Malaysian singer-songwriter Zee Avi delivers a strong performance on this pared-down Frosty, using her warm vocals to melt the snow around our titular snowman. Her sparing use of the piano throughout adds a lovely accent to the proceedings. - The Flaming Lips - Silent Night / Lord Can You Hear Me
Leave it to Wayne Coyne to give us the holiday gift of not only a lovely cover of Silent Night, but a mashup with a cover of the Spiritualized classic Lord Can You Hear Me, off their 2001 album Let It Come Down. The Lips keep this one relatively straightforward, yet unmistakably them. - Ana Gasteyer - Sugar and Booze
SNL alum (and DC native!) Ana Gasteyer's 2019 holiday album Sugar & Booze is a festive, jazzy affair that's better than it has any right to be for a comedian's side gig. The title track highlights two of the best things about the holiday season. - Bob Dylan - Must Be Santa
I took some heat (from my brother) when I included Kurt Vile's ultra-lo-fi-chill version of this bizarre take on an old German tune in my 2022 playlist. So to appease the haters, here's Dylan's utterly wild (though lesser) take on the material. His holiday album is a surreal affair, half cash grab, half sincere(?), and entirely WTF—it's worth checking out if you like weird shit. - Laibach & Silence - White Christmas
Slovenian musical powerhouses Laibach team up with their fellow Slovenes Silence for a spaced-out take on this inescapable holiday classic. Based on the vocal performance and overall vibe, I'm pretty sure this is the version of White Christmas you hear as you're slowly descending into Hell for committing various holiday crimes. That piano promises salvation, but Laibach's vocal delivery tells you you're headed somewhere else. Listen to this one on headphones; you'll hear some cool shit. - Dean & Britta & Sonic Boom - You're All I Want For Christmas
In 2024, the twin beating hearts of Luna teamed up with the other guy from Spacemen 3 to release a pretty damn good holiday EP. This track is shimmery and lush, like a layer of fresh snow in the moonlight—as seen from inside, mug of cocoa in hand, sitting by the fire. - They Might Be Giants - Careless Santa
The Johns brought in Soul Coughing's Yuval Gabay to bang the drums on this oddball rocker about how Santa busted the narrator's arm with a poorly aimed bag of money while spoiling his bank-robbing scheme. The song actually seems to be by TMBG side project/supergroup Mono Puff, but was released by the Giants on their Holiday EP a few years back. - Marsheaux - We Met Bernard Sumner At A Christmas Party Last Night
This Greek synth-pop duo really puts the "t" in Christmas, as you'll hear repeatedly in the chorus of this catchy little number. You'd think this song would about meeting a giant of the British gloomy music scene (he was a founding member of Joy Division and New Order, among others), but it seems to be about... uh, love? Drugs? Love on drugs? - The Jive Turkeys - Get Down Santa
All I could find out about these guys is that they're from Cincinnati, and their funky jazz is red-hot. I like how this one is half medley of various holiday tunes, and half killer funk lick. If you like this, don't miss the B-side, Funky Jesus. - Sabrina Carpenter - A Nonsense Christmas
Pop sensation Sabrina Carpenter released her first variety music holiday special last year, which is where the title of this track comes from. This is actually a remix/re-recording of her hit song Nonsense, which I've never heard and probably never will. I'm pretty psyched to have this one on here because—as loyal readers know—I love Christmas songs about fucking. And this, my friends, is a Christmas song about fucking. - Bing Crosby - Happy Holidays (Beef Wellington remix)
A really fun supercharge of this Crosby classic. I'm not entirely sure who "Beef Wellington" is, and my cursory internet search didn't provide much clarity, so I'm choosing to picture them as a friendly elf who dusts off old records and sprinkles them with holiday glitter to create something new and awesome. Or he's some DJ, I dunno, you figure it out. - Sleepy Sun - What Child Is This?
Sleepy Sun was a psych rock band from Santa Cruz, and they bring a lovely sludgy psych sound to this classic Christmas carol. William Chatterton Dix penned the lyrics in 1865 and waited until 1871 to set it to Greensleeves. Pretty classic English/Christian move, if you ask me, co-opting a folk tune and saying "this is a Christmas carol now." Anyway, this version is good. - The LeeVees - How Do You Spell Channukkahh?
The LeeVees sure are channeling their inner They Might Be Giants on this one. It has plenty of funny moments, but unfortunately goes on a little too long—it doesn't need to be five minutes long, but it is anyway. Fuck it, it's Chanukah. Also, most of the spelling bee words they call out in the second verse as being hard to spell aren't all that hard to spell: "antidisestablishmentarianism" isn't complicated, it's just long. Even in the face of these withering criticisms, this song still rocks, with a catchy chord progression and nice harmonies. PS "Chanukah" will always be my correct spelling, I don't know WTF those "Hanukkah" people are doing. - David Byrne - Fat Man's Comin'
"I always wanted to write a holiday song," said David Byrne about this song (which he wrote in 2013 based on his 2012 sessions with St. Vincent). He goes on to say "It wasn’t right for Annie and me—the story of a fat man in rather odd attire who breaks into people’s homes and leaves mysterious packages." "I wouldn’t call it a Christmas song, as the visitation of Santa (formerly known as St. Nicholas, who mainly did punishing) seems to have evolved to be a more secular consumer moment than a religious or spiritual affair." Uh huh. That's David Byrne for you. - Berlin Symphony - Dance Of The Sugar Plum Fairy (Red Baron Remix)
The Red Baron released this remix of the Berlin Symphony Orchestra's 1989 recording of Sugar Plum back in 2005, adding a nice trip-hop beat and accentuating specific instruments in the mix. Always impressive to hear what someone can do to take a piece of music that's over 100 years old and make it their own. - The Staple Singers - Who Took The Merry Out Of Christmas
Soul pioneers The Staple Singers lay it down on this 1972 banger, singing about how Christmas just ain't Christmas any more. The song features some clever wordplay with Merry/Mary, and is overall a lyrical downer but a musical toe-tapper. Lines like "too busy having fun, drinking with everyone/showing no respect for Mary's baby son" betray the group's gospel roots while also casting them as John Lithgow in Footloose, banning rock and roll and dancing due to wickedness. - Idina Menzel - Ocho Kandelikas
Like any good Jewish musician, Idina Menzel has multiple Christmas albums to her name, but she sneaks in a touch of Judaism here and there. I love her samba take on Ocho Kandelikas, an ancient Chanukah tune hearkening all the way back to 1983. The song is sung in Ladino, an ancient blend of Old Spanish and Hebrew, originally spoken by Sephardic Jews back in the day. It's also a banger. - Allo Darlin' - S P A C E Christmas
Shoutout to longtime reader Joe in Brooklyn for hipping me to Allo Darlin's holiday EP, which finds the Brit indie poppers in high form. I love how Aussie vocalist Elizabeth Morris's voice always sounds like it's just about to give out, letting her infuse this little Christmas cookie of a song with an unexpected caramel thread of emotion. (Do you put caramel in Christmas cookies? I should look that up. UPDATE: It appears you do.) - Pale Waves - Last Christmas
I tend to include Last Chrismas on most of my playlists, in part because the song is infinitely cover-able, lending itself to a huge variety of interpretations while always remaining essentially itself. Mancunian rockers Pale Waves do a nice reverb-washed new wave take on it here (though NME refers to it as "synth-heavy goth pop," FWIW), giving a lovely shimmery sheen to the proceedings. - Le Bon - Make Way for the Holidays
I just learned that this song was in a Starbucks commercial, which makes sense, given the twee indie pop vibes. I mean, good for the band, musicians should get paid, etc., and of course, fuck Starbucks. Le Bon is a collaboration between LA musician Brad Gordon and frequent collaborator Anthony Miller. I loved this bit from an interview with him in The Current: "I think the goal of the Christmas song is to try to create a new classic every time — you don't always do it, obviously!" he laughs. "But I feel really good about this one because even my daughter can sing the chorus and she loves the hook on that. So I'm very proud of it." I know the feeling; hearing my daughter walking around the house singing one of my holiday tunes last year felt great. - BONUS TRACK: CRUDBUMP - Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas [not available on streaming]
CRUDBUMP, AKA Drew Toothpaste, is the musical alter ego of webcomic creator Drew Fairweather. This amazing song speaks for itself.
And with that, dear reader, we've come to the end. Having just spent most of Thanksgiving in the ER with a crippling migraine, I'm thankful to be feeling better as I type these words tonight. I'm thankful for you, the fellow Christmas music weirdo who listens to these playlists and comments on them. I'm thankful for the internet for connecting us, even though posting on Blogger in 2025 feels like telling someone to "find me on Friendster." And for now, I'm thankful to step away from the computer, take some more ibuprofen, and enjoy a quiet almost-winter's evening at home.
Let me know what you liked!
-Jordan
No comments:
Post a Comment